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"If anyone would..." (Mark 8:34)

I was recently preaching on Mark 8:27-9:13, including a crucial verse: 

"If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." (Mark 8:34 ESVUK) 

It seems to me that this translation could be improved upon in several respects. The issue is not so much to do with the Greek, as to do with English language and usage in 2023 Britain. 

Firstly, the phrase "if anyone would" should read, "if anyone wants to". As the meaning of the word "will/would" has changed from "want/ed" to a future tense, a more explicit translation ("if anyone wants to...") makes it clear that this is about those who might desire to become disciples of Jesus, and what is required from them to do so.  

A second issue is that "come after me" means "be my disciple following me"; this could be flagged up using inverted commas or some other device to highlight the fact that this phrase contains more than might be obvious at a first reading. See the NIV translation below.   

Thirdly, in modern English when speaking about "people in general" rather than "males", we need to use "they/their" pronouns. If we say, "If anyone.... he....", it suggests that Jesus' disciples will all or predominantly be male. 

Fourthly, the third person imperative is probably well translated as "let him..." It is a command addressed to someone not in the second person ("deny yourself!"), but in the third person ("let them deny themselves"). I suppose another strategy might be to say, "Whoever wants to come after me needs to deny themselves..." 

Fifthly, the verb "deny oneself" probably captures most of what is meant by "aparneomai". Interestingly, it is used for when someone, like Peter during Jesus' trial, disowns someone. It has dimensions of meaning such as "forget yourself", to lose sight of oneself and one's interests. 

Sixthly, the phrase "take up their cross" does appear to relate to the situation described later in the gospel in respect of Jesus and Simon of Cyrene, namely to be on one's way to the place of execution. The situation/metaphor is one of martyrdom. 

Seventhly, and finally, it seems to me that this verse represents an open invitation, and not merely a warning: "If anyone wants to come after me... let them follow me!" 

It seems to me that the NIV captures this verse far better than the ESV: 

"Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me." 

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