Very possibly, not everyone reading this blog is a fan of the 1990s sitcom, Friends. However, I think we can all agree that Friends, which ran from 1994 to 2004, managed to capture a cultural moment. Its continued popularity long after the final series was completed demonstrates the chord that it struck.
Towards the end of 2023 came the sad news of the premature death of one of the Friends actors, Matthew Perry (1969-2023). The death appears to have been caused or precipitated by "the acute effects of ketamine"; substance abuse was something Matthew Perry very publicly wrestled with during and after his fame with Friends. A touching clip replayed at the time of his death was his talk show interaction with pundit Peter Hitchen on this point. Matthew Perry comes across as both broken and "real", while his debating partner, while possibly well-meaning, appears to be defending a theoretical position without first-hand experience.
Naturally, the death of Matthew Perry, who played Chandler Bing in the series, prompted an outpouring of grief from fans and, of course, from his fellow cast members. At a recent "10 years on" reunion, other cast members had flattered one another, and appeared to have maintained regular contact, while Matthew Perry was more edgy, clearly not radiating the same feel-good attitude and suggesting he had not been included in these encounters. Nevertheless, at his death, he was showered with endearing superlatives.
Matthew Perry had a long career beginning as a child actor in 1979, and played various roles, but it is his role as Chandler Bing in "Friends", that he is best known for, an alter ego that reflected traits of Matthew Perry himself.
The "genius" or "charisma" of Matthew Perry, and the character, Chandler Bing, whom he played, is, in my view, more than a well-cast credible "character". Chandler Bing represents troubled manhood in an age that vilifies "toxic masculinity". In the series, Joey Tribiani is confident and attractive (if somewhat short on intelligence and wisdom), while Ross Geller is intelligent and wealthy (if somewhat naïve). Chandler, by contrast, is nervous and edgy, clearly scarred by family break-up in childhood, traumatised by his inability to have a fulfilling long-term relationship, and stuck in jobs which, while they might pay well, do not inspire or motivate. In his own words, "All right, kids, I gotta get to work. If I don't input those numbers,... it doesn't make much of a difference." Matthew Perry himself experienced family break-up in early childhood, and, when his mother remarried, he felt an outsider alongside his half-siblings. In his own words, "I was so often on the outside looking in, still that kid up in the clouds on a flight to somewhere else, unaccompanied". From age 10, Perry began misbehaving, and his lifelong habit of alcohol abuse began by the age of 16. In "Friends", Chandler's defence mechanism is to be the "funny boy", responding to all situations with humour, often self-deprecating. In my opinion, the reason for the magnitude of outpouring for Matthew Perry is precisely this "flawedness" which so many identify with. Perry's autobiography was published in 2022 under the title, "Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing."
Interestingly, while the series clearly describes and affirms a world far different from the America of the 1950s, the old values appear to be there all the same. As Chandler stands his ground with his fiancee Monica over wedding spending, Phoebe, another one of the "Friends", exclaims, "Wow, money and a firm hand. Finally a Chandler I can get on board with." The conclusion of the series sees 5 of the 6 friends married, and Chandler and Monica, themselves unable to conceive, adopt twins. The "Friends" way of life - young people living in New York, whose friends are their family - has been an interim phase, leading to reversion to a more traditional, married-with-kids way of life.
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